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True love waits—This is a foreign idea in today’s world, but one that builds a foundation of trust, sacrifice, loyalty and patience.

Should true love wait? This is a question that many have difficulty answering. Pondering that question, a young man asked this question:

Should True Love Wait?

I have to ask you about true love. There is a certain girl that I really like. I can’t stop thinking of her (in a good way). This feeling is affecting my schoolwork, the way I communicate with her, and the way I act around other people. It’s taking over my life! Is this “true love” I am feeling? If so, what should I do about it? Please answer.–Jason in NC 

Here was our answer:

Dear Jason,

Sorry. What you are feeling is not ‘true love.’ Your feelings would properly be called ‘infatuation.’ True love is, of course, a feeling, but it is so much more. True love is forged over time; true love is defined by trust, sacrifice, loyalty and patience. Should true love wait? Absolutely!

“True Love Waits” — A Sure Foundation of Character

True love is built on the foundation of trust, sacrifice, loyalty, and patience.

  • Trust. After receiving a proposal for marriage, a young woman called home excitedly. “Mom, Dad, I’ve found the man I’m going to marry. I love him.” But what parents really want to hear is “I trust him.” We love many people whom we do not totally trust. Love is easy to give; trust is not. Trust is the highest manifestation of true love, so true love waits!
  • Sacrifice. You only love to the level of your sacrifice—sacrifice is the measure of true love, thus true love waits. How much you do for someone defines how much you love. The reverse is true: You are loved to the level of the sacrifice made in your behalf. How much someone does for you defines how much that person loves you. True love is not just a feeling; true love is a sacrifice that summons a feeling. Think of the Christmas morning vs. Christmas afternoon. When the giving is over the feeling wanes. True love is maintained by giving, not receiving. If you are a receiver rather than a giver, you will never be able to maintain the feeling of true love—hence, a compelling reason why true love should wait.
  • Loyalty. This means: “I will never leave you; I will always be there for you; I will stand beside you and uphold you no matter what and for as long as it takes. True love is loyal.
  • Patience. Patience means: “I will wait with you,” or “I will wait for you” or “I will wait upon [serve]  you.” If you desire to express true love, you will be willing to wait. True love waits!

Why do some relationships work while others do not? Because the successful relationships are built on the sure foundation of true love that waits: trust, sacrifice, loyalty and patience. When relationships fail, at least one part of the foundation of true love is broken.

Why Should True Love Wait?

Discovering true love while dating can be a challenge. How do you know if the person you have feelings for is trustworthy or will be loyal to you? A good indicator is his/her willingness to sacrifice. A selfish person is probably not completely trustworthy or loyal. If the person you are dating is genuinely expressing true love, that person will sacrifice self-interests for your interests and protection. In other words, if your partner truly loves you, he/she will wait. True love waits!

Speaking to women–Ask yourselves these hard questions about why true love should wait:

  • If a man becomes sexually aggressive or careless is he acting selfishly or selflessly?
  • Are his actions a manifestation of true love or true lust? Is he really trustworthy, sacrificing, loyal and patient, or are those attributes contrived?
  • If he cannot sacrifice his passion today will he be able to sacrifice every day of his life for you?
  • If he will not make a life-long commitment of marriage to you, could you trust him completely or expect that he will remain loyal to you?

Remember, it is one thing to say yes at the marriage altar, but it is quite another to say yes every day thereafter. A selfish man will always fall short of exhibiting true love; that is if true love cannot wait, it is not true love.

Speaking to men–The same questions about why true love should wait concerning the woman you are looking for. Could a woman who will not bridle her passions, but selfishly and carelessly seeks to gratify her lusts be trusted or expected to remain loyal? Is this the quality of individual whom you want for your life’s companion and the mother of your children? Is she really capable of true love? Again, if true love cannot wait, it is not true love.

Can a person change? Of course. But a person who is acting selfishly today has not changed, and if that person’s expressions of true love cannot wait, then the true definition of love eludes him or her. Perhaps you should consider stepping away from such a person until that person learns to become selfless and abandons selfishness. You could save yourself years of misery.

Do You Want True Love or Lesser Love? 

The most important question is this: Are you capable of true love? In today’s world, few people are capable of expressing true love. Who you are attracts the same attributes in your partner. If you are selfish, you will likely attract a selfish companion, and if true love cannot wait then true love will elude you both. On the other hand, if you are selfless, you will likely attract a selfless companion, and you will enjoy true love.

If love is true, how can we recognize it?

  1. Trust. You will feel true love’s feeling of peace that only comes from trust and trustworthiness.
  2. Sacrifice. You will put each other’s desires before you own and constantly sacrifice for each other.
  3. Loyalty. You will always be there for each other and stand beside and uphold each other no matter what and for as long as it takes. 
  4. Patience. You will wait with each other. You will wait for each other. You will wait upon each other.

Can you see why true love must wait? If a couple builds their relationship on the foundation of a true love, the storms of life may beat upon them but they will not fall. This is the blessing and peace of a true love that waits.

More about “True Love Waits”

“True Love Waits” was written by Larry Barkdull. The subject, “True Love Waits,” is of vital importance to members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If you would like to know more about Mormons with no obligation, please click on the following links:

If you have other questions about Mormons, click below on Mormon Beliefs or Mormon FAQ.